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I was here before and I've seen most of this before. There is so much things I've experienced and, at the sime time, I have to question that. Seen people turning into animals and places completely destroyed.

It is all a dream.

02/01/2012

Think about a better way to start your year. Quitting job. 5 months... Not everything was bad but... When you start taking bullshit, you better be prepared for the abuse a the lack of consideration and personality or you will be the one getting fistfucked. If you wanna deal with cunts you better become a pimp too. Yes, I know cunts are everywhere, but still, if you can avoid them, you better do.

But getting back on track, I am not here to give advices to anyone. It was different that what I expected, it wasn't like other times in which I was with my desire to hunt and shred everything to pieces. It was more calm, and I could get out easily. I wanted to be the one throwing the cigarette bite and throw that shit to ashes but now, I just don't want to care.

13/12/11

There are days in which I feel like I'm doing everything to much. I feel like I'm messing everything up just for doing what I think I'm supposed to do. The sun could shine in all its bright colours at day and the stars could just lay there perfectly at night, but still I feel like I have something turning and twisting my mind and I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. There is this feeling grabbing and the pulling me down. I get bitter and the delusional me starts making his way in. I get scared because the mask doesn't fit in anymore and I feel that everyone can see, hear or do anything to me, and I don't want to change this way anymore.

17/11/2011

Tired, too much dreams haunting me at night. Few nights without a proper sleep and already like this. I'm growing softer. Probably being a bit melo, but I'm just feeling a bit paranoid and afraid that I'm doing a lot of stuff for nothing. Too much dreams, too much confusion. Need to stop stressing myself. Need to accept peace. But I somewhat can't stand it and, at the same time... Fuck! I just don't know. There is something wrong with me. I'm angry at nothing.

06/11/11 05h59 a.m.

Tried to write something. Nothing of what I wrote seemed right. Not in the mood to put a mask on and write something untrue.

Goodbye.

23/10/2011

So you've made it through another night... Can't say I'm not proud of you. Still, I can't say I'm proud of you either. Yes, you think the all universe is trying to fuck you and you took it. Once again. That is the one part that, can still get me fucked up with you... You're still that egocentric S.o.B.. But, this time, you were able to, at least, fake something. A smile, a feeling. You didn't fake it to the poingt that no one could figure out that was going on inside your head. You had to talkabout it, you're still that dependent. But, at least, you could fake aq smile. At least, that is what you say and what you think... Either way, I think you're improving... Sincerely, you know I don't like you. You're soft and you're emeotional. You're not cold enough to be trustworthy to persons like me. But, at the same time, you're that guy that keeps on repeating "it is just a ride" trying to not give a fuck about what goes wrong around him.

I sincerely don't know what to think of you as for tonight. I just don't know. Hope you join the "army" and that we'll become one once again and, at the same time, hope that I keep in my corner and you'll keep on yours.

Sincerely, Destructioner Extraordinaire to Sea B.

Move along, there ain't nothing here for you

Not on my days. Tired has fuck. The patience to handle somethings is running out and I think my time in some places is reaching its end. Respect means a lot to me and there are just a few who can try to cross the line. Lately, I've been feeling like there are some moroons who think they're above everyone and everything. That worked well with me untill teh day they've brought that shit to me... I can't seem find spirit to continue with this for much more.

Maybe this days must end. Maybe I'm just needing to really stop for a moment. Or maybe I'm just that fucked up.