Epic

Here I am advertising Derek Hess again...

This is what happens when you pass the steering wheel to someone who doesn't have a drivers license

Travelling

Speaking Italian 101 by Peter Griffin

Broken glass

Mesa - "Boca do Mundo"

Eat my flesh

Another Derek Hess print.

5 a.m. thoughts

There ain't much to say... Fought stupid wars and I still fight stupid wars... And I am sorry for most of them... Most of them were condemned to failure and loss since day one... Most of them were against myself... But I am not sorry for fighting them. I had to, I just had. All along I have been just a pawn most of times. Unlocking doors, jumping off cliffs, putting myself in front of a runaway train... I just had to. My mind doesn't admit turning back and just admits failure in well proved lost causes. Do you see? Shit turning to shit since the beginning.

It is unfair most of the times. I blindfold myself so that I cannot see the harm I am doing to myself. No, I am not sorry for most of those who I've harmed, they had it coming. And no, I am not sorry on myself, self-pity is a gift for those who don't have a fucked up ego and/or are egocentric. Yes, apparently, you can have a fucked up ego and still be an egocentric... But they usually don't end well.

This is no art, this is no Sun Tzu book. This is plain stupidity. This is a quick step over the edge between being on top to being used to everything. Yes, I have been used and I am not gonna be a hypocrite creep and say I have never used anyone in my life. I've been used to show things others could just dream because of their utmost stupidity and weakness. Their fear for somethings completely harmless. And so, they use others, use them and then throw them away because they think they have no use anymore while they show them selfs as peacocks with all their plumage... But their plumage is fake and so are them. Of course nobody cares, the plumage is so "beautiful" that nobody cares. Nobody cares while others rot in their pride. Not because they want to be part of this fashion, but because they just want a decent thank you. But why should they thank anything, you're just another pawn. You were just there to see the new prom queen because she needed you to open the door for her. And so we keep. The new prom queen contaminates even more an already contaminated world, while you're contaminated by your own poison that is pride.

Spiritual Transcendence

Pre-Fight

20th Year of the Wolf

Well, another year as passed by this wretched soul. Like always, passed almost all day thinking about the shit I've done during this passed year. Done a lot, so it's even more normal that I have this kind of behavior... Joining the fact that I, as always, had a shit night (thank you subconscious and unconscious), well, nice cocktail indeed. Besides that, normal day expect the fact that I had cake (hurrayyy).

Well, this times are usually taken to do promises we don't intend to keep so I'm not gonna write any of them. Gonna write some objectives for this year.

Primary Objectives:

- Getting my drivers license;

- Do, at least, half a semester in college;

- Stop giving a fuck about shitty people.

Secundary:

- Reach the 100 geocaches;

- Stop smoking;

- Getting my second tattoo done;

- Getting my lip and eyebrow pierced;

- Go to Roadburn 2012 (this one is in advanceand is just in case the world really ends in December 2012)

That's all, wanna thank all of you who helped so far, all of you who I love and respect. Wanna thank all the bastards who tried to fuck me, and those who have done it indeed.

Cycles II

Everything is getting again on the starting point. Seize it, or fuck it. Won't have another chance at this.

Schizoid

Fear

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

Finally saw Fight Club, great movie. Yada, yada, yada. If you're one of the few (I think) who hasn't seen it, go do it.

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

Illusions: In the mind of a beast

Growling, clenched teeth, heart beating like a train running late... That's how I am in the face of a new challenge...

Killed every prey that have crossed my troubled path... I was supposed to be a God among mere mortals... Instead, I am hated by everyone... I am alone surrounded by other beasts awaiting their time to take what is mine... The only thing that is mine... My pride, my honor. They know, oh yes they know I will fight back! I must, I can and I will! My clenched teeth will open and I'll bit everything that'll stand in my way! I'll break some necks if I need to because what I have to lose will die with me. Have no family, they're all dead. Have no friends, they're all dead. Have no soul, she's dead. The difference between me and the devil is that I exist.

Now that you know this, I will stop growling like I am afraid of you. I'll unclench my teeth because I am ready to fight. And my heart will slow down because you're half way dead. Goodbye.

Bleak Visions: IV

I looked at you and the only thing I could do was to show you a sarcastic and sadistic laugh. Pathetic, weak, no sense of what was surrounding you. Ahahah! Didn't have my number anymore, didn't y'a? Pathetic... Just plain pathetic... Even had to reassure you that it wouldn't hurt... Told you that the knife would go so deep that it would be a quick death. Well, I've lied to y'a. Never had the intentions of killing y'a, just wanted to please my sadistic desires. But hey! You had the knife in front of you for all this time, you could have escaped or, at least, try and stop all of this but you thought you were still in control. Pretty dumb mistake and it happens to the best although this ain't that case...

Never forget with what y'a're dealing with, never! This ain't the last time you'll have to face this situation, but this was probably the only one you could have prevented. Now? You've asked me, now you'll lie still while I finish you're unfinished businesses. Didn't had nothing to gain, but once again, you you're always the one with all the weapons, not me. You were the stupid one, and now, you'll have to pay for your stupidity. Quoting numerous villains and anti-heroes: See you in hell.

Late Nights

Half of my late night company. Enjoy.

Let the hunting begin

How does it feel to be on the receiving edge?