Feels like I've reached the end of this road. I risk to say that, there is nothing here that excites me anymore... No money, no sex, no fun, no nothing. Everywhere I look it is all the same for a long time. Everything I do, feels like... Feels? I wonder if that is the right word... Probably not, probably yes... I miss the old days. No thrill of the hunt, no thrill of the kill. It's just dead ends and dead dreams. God, I really miss the old days, and I not a really nostalgic person. I'm not one of those persons who keeps crying about when they were this, when they done that. Perhaps I'm becoming like that. Perhaps is just a phase... Big phase this is/maybe be. I'm unable to feel like I'm part of something bigger than me, that... Fuck! Look at me, wondering through what is, in fact, nothing. Life feeds on life or the Ouruboros, have more curves than my thoughs right now... Perhaps I just need to have a shag... Perhaps I should do anything instead of just bitching... Fuck! I've lost track of the times I've written perhaps... Well, this whole shit is just a fucking big supposition. Sincerely, nothing makes sense to me, a long time ago. I've just been dragging my ass around, trying to find some meaning to this shit.I think seeing "The Body of Jennifer" because Megan Fox (Tell me she is hot, I'll slap you. Tell me she is a good actress, I'll double slap you. Seriously! A Plastic sex doll has less plastic in it than her...) is in it makes more sense that most of my life. Well, this realization at least gives me a reason to rest or, go back to basics. Don't know what sounds more patetic... Rest, starting walking the other way, or this text... Maybe the three. Not maybe, it is the three... Maybe if I get drunk enough the doors of perception will open again. I think I have a plan for wednesday... Well, going to smoke more, and listen to smoke Tom Waits. Maybe a it will show me some light...
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